I’d like to think this blog is a place where I can share my latest projects, but also a place to get a little more personal. The blogs I seem to follow the most are the one’s where I feel like there is actually a human being behind the writing with a real life and stories that I can relate to.
So today I want to share a weakness that I have that I’m sure a lot of you out there face and that is patience. I’ve never been one for having a lot of patience and since becoming a mother it’s been a struggle I seem to face daily when taking care of my children. As much as I’d like to appear like the perfect mother to everyone outside of my home, I’m not. I loose my patience sometimes and a lot depending on the week; sometimes over things that really don’t matter.
For example, last week Eric was out of town for work and I had two cranky girls who seemed to be crying and whining at me all week. My 3 year old was having a hard time listening and obeying and my 1 year old needed to be held constantly or else an hour long tantrum would begin. By the third day of this my patience was literally on egg shells waiting for one of the girls to do something before I exploded on a yelling rampage. It didn’t take long until that happened. Once again I was that mom that I kept telling myself I would never be…that mom that ends up loosing my cool and yelling at my kids instead of trying to talk to and understand them. The worst part is that after all this instead of calming down I became mad at myself for not handling the situation well and continued to be impatient and ended up yelling more.
After episodes like that I feel like the worst mother and wonder if one day my kids will resent me for it. Even worse I can see that they sometimes struggle with the similar things and I wonder how I will teach them to deal with it when sometimes I can’t. Needless to say I am grateful for this time when my girls are quick to forgive as I try to figure out how to let certain things go and see each situation in the way their growing, young minds see it.
In my “quest” to try to have more patience with my children I have come to focus on three things.
1. Don’t be so focused on time and how long it takes for things to get done. Sometimes it frustrates me how long it takes Mia to do things after asking her repeatedly to do something especially when I am in a hurry. I’m learning to slow down and just plan for extra time so we can all be calm.
2. Let some things go and just enjoy the moment. I’m a little bit of a clean freak sometimes and I have two girls that LOVE dirt and messes. Since becoming a mom I’ve really had to work at just forgetting about the mess being made and letting my kids be kids while they enjoy the fun they are having and cleaning up the mess later.
3. Remember they are only children! You would think this would be an easy thing to remember but sometimes I find myself having expectations for how my girls should act being at an adult level when clearly they are not. I have to remind myself that they are still learning and trying to understand how to process feelings and thoughts. When I remember this it makes a world of difference.
So there you have it; my struggle with patience. I know I’m not alone in this struggle of having patience with my children. Some it takes a lot longer to break but I’m sure at one point or another we’ve all handled a situation with our kids in a way we aren’t proud of. So I basically wanted to let you know you’re definitely not alone and we’re all struggling every day to be the best mothers we can for those kids we still seem to love to pieces no matter what they do.