Treating Husbands with Love and Respect

I was 19 when I got married and while I was over the moon in love with the man of my dreams, I realized early on that there is much more to marriage then simply being “in love”. Marriage can be fragile. It requires constant nurture and a lot of effort. It involves doing those everyday acts of kindness and love that make ordinary relationships extraordinary. 

As a little girl, I dreamed of the day that I’d find my prince and live happily ever after. I’m blessed to say that I did find my prince and we most certainly live a happy life. My husband is my biggest support and my best friend. He pushes me to follow my dreams and strengthens me during times of disappointment and insecurity. I tremendously respect and admire the husband, father, and man he is, and am glad I can call him mine. While I fall more and more in love with my husband everyday, that is not to say that our marriage is perfect…actually it’s far from it. I’ll be honest, not every moment of the last four years has been wedded bliss. Like any other marriage, we’ve had our ups and downs. And while I’m no marriage expert, I would like to write about one thing in particular that has been on my mind lately regarding a happy marriage– that is respect.

It all started one Saturday about a month ago when I had a huge list of chores that needed to get done. We had a busy week coming up and only one day left to prepare for it. I made a list of everything that needed  to be done and made a plan in my head of how the day was going to go.  Without a word in edgewise (or even allowing time for my husband to offer his help), I told my husband, “Here is want needs to get done today, and you are going to help me.” He nodded his head ok as to acknowledge he really had no choice in the matter, and so the day began. As the day progressed I unconsciously found myself hovering over his shoulder questioning his every move.

“Are you sure that is how you fix it?”

“I don’t think you are doing that right.”

He shrugged it off at first, trying hard not to show how completely annoyed he was with me, but soon  he had had enough. I could tell he was frustrated but I was blindly unaware of why. When I confronted him about it, he explained how belittled he felt by my questioning remarks. When I later reflected on how I had treated my husband that day, the love of my life, I was ashamed. With each nagging and questioning remark I had stripped him of his manhood; and worse, I had treated him as though I was above him instead of an equal partner in our marriage.

Too much in today’s society, men (especially husbands), are made out to be mindless dogs. They eat, sleep, work and obey their wives. Their opinions are irrelevant and they have no say in matters. The divine role of men, husbands, and fathers has become a joke, and I disgracefully played right into it. I realize that no successful, or even happy, relationship can result from such a hideous thing.

From that moment on I’ve tried to treat my husband with the respect that he deserves.

I try to tell him often how much I appreciate his hard work and all that he does for me and our family.

I try to tell him often all the qualities that I love so much about him.

And lastly, I try to refrain from nagging or disrespectful comments; and instead, try to make more of an effort to see his point-of-view.

I’m not at all perfect at it, but by treating my husband with more respect I in return have been shown more love and appreciation. I feel more united in my marriage and closer in our relationship. More than ever, I see my husband as my prince, my hero, my protector, my best friend and my eternal sweetheart. And by showing him that respect, I think he can view himself as the same.

Again, I’d like to reiterate that having been married for only four years I am by no means an expert. However, this was a learning experience in my marriage that I felt impressed to share on the blog. Wives, do your best to respect your husbands; and husbands, love your wives. I know from experience that it is easy to fall into the trap of criticizing or taking your spouse for granted, but there is simply no place for that in a truly happy marriage. By showing your spouse constant love and respect, and by putting their needs above your own, there will come a deeper love and a new found respect towards your spouse. I’d like to end with one of my favorite quotes on marriage:

“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grow more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”

This is how I feel we should view and treat the relationships we have with our husbands.

Thank you for reading, and allowing me to share with you what I am most passionate about. I welcome and look forward to your thoughts, experiences and views on the matter.

– SARA

Linked To:
http://www.create-with-joy.com/2014/03/inspire-me-monday-week-117.html
http://aproverbs31wife.com/life-happens-sometimes/
http://theblissfulbee.com/work-it-wednesday-no-41/
http://ithappensinablink.com/2014/04/5-quick-easter-crafts.html
http://iputabirdonit.blogspot.com/2014/04/linkn-blogs-19.html

14 thoughts on “Treating Husbands with Love and Respect

  • Commented 10 years ago

    So true Kim! I definitely need to be better at times when asking my husband to do something to not micromanage his every move because he is not doing something the way I would choose to do it. Great comment, thank you!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    So glad you are writing about this. I think we have all made this mistake at some point in our marriage. We all have OUR way of doing things…it doesn’t mean it is the “right” way. It is only our personal preference. I’ve learned that personal preferences cause BIG PROBLEMS at times in marriages when it comes to respect. Very well done!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Funny, me and a friend were just talking about how they should incorporate this topic in high school health classes. I’m glad you’re a caring mother who teaches her children love and respect towards their spouses through words and example. Thank you for sharing!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Thank you for your comment! Believe me, I’m not perfect at it but since I have tried to take on a different perspective in my marriage, the doors of love, understanding, respect and communication have flung wide open.

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Thank you Kristie for sharing your thoughts. I believe we all need constant reminders in life 🙂

  • Commented 10 years ago

    I completely agree! I hate being the “controlling wife”. I mean, for goodness sakes, he’s my husband not my child. It should definitely be a team effort and that requires respect for each other. I learned that when I show my husband more respect, he’s more willing to do the things I want him to do without me even asking him to. Respect = Love!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Amen Sistah! I see my grown children treat their spouses with disrespect. I have had more than one conversation with each of them about that. I see it more with the younger generation. Not sure where it went wrong, but we do need to get it back.
    Your spouse is one of the people (outside your parents & kids) that you should treat with the UPMOST respect.
    Thanks for sharing your story!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Excellent post, I 100% agree with you! I don’t like how men are portrayed in media…it’s nice to read such nice words and thoughts about our friends and companions. Thank you!

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Great blog post! Wonderfully said!

    Blessings,
    Lynn @Living Free in Christ

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Thanks for sharing this. And causing me to remember how lucky and blessed I am to have my hubby in my life. Thanks for the reminder to work together and build each other.

  • Commented 10 years ago

    amen! one of my pet peeves is when people have joked with me about giving my husband orders. It doesn’t work like that; it takes both of us to make this work and we both need to respect and love each other. I always cringe in movies when husbands are out with their buddies and complaining about their wives being so controlling. Then the women start complaining about their husbands not doing things their way.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Thank you Desaree! We’ve actually already been nominated for a Liebster Award, but we feel honored that you would like of us! You can read about our answers here: http://www.stripesandpolkadotsblog.com/2014/02/the-liebster-award.html.

  • Commented 10 years ago

    Wow. I love this. It really made me stop and think about how I treat my husband. Thanks for the inspiration and that quote about eternal marriage. I also wanted to let you know I nominated you for a Liebster Award. You can check it out at http://lifeasdez.blogspot.com/2014/03/liebster-award.html

  • Commented 10 years ago

    very beautifully said.

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